Jack Canfield, author of the “Chicken Soup For The Soul” series coined the idea behind this formula. I use it every single day in my personal and professional life. If you can master this discipline, you will have a better life. Period. End of story.
EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME
Here’s how it goes. E stands for EVENT. When something happens to us, either within our control or not, it’s the EVENT. R stands for RESPONSE. It’s what we do after the event. How we respond to it. What I want you to know is we don’t usually respond. We react. There’s a difference. A response is intelligent. It’s thought through and is a conscious choice. When we react to something it’s knee jerk, unconscious, and doesn’t usually turn out well. O stands for OUTCOME. What we do before that, either RESPOND or REACT determines the OUTCOME.
Here’s an example of how I used this formula. I flew in from Maine yesterday. My flight experience was not a good one. Before I left for the airport I was notified the first leg of my flight was delayed, which made it impossible to make my connecting flight. That was the E for EVENT. I immediately got on the phone to the airlines, that was my RESPONSE. I didn’t wait to get to the airport to handle it, I didn’t scream at the ticket agent, or bad mouth the airline to others. On the way to the airport I spoke to an agent over the phone who told me I would be stuck in the Philadelphia airport over night if I couldn’t make a later connecting flight. With the delayed first flight, It was going to be tight. Once I made the decision to take a chance on a later flight, I chose the OUTCOME. Other responses included staying an additional night in Maine, switching airlines, or taking a chance I might make the connecting flight. Changing my response would have changed the outcome. EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME
Change Our World
Can you think of a time when your REACTION did not lead to a positive OUTCOME? The space of time between the E and R can be a time of reflection, a pause, or a breathing space. Taking a pause allows our brains time to catch up with our feelings. I call this the Gap of Infinite Possibilities. It is a period of time, mere seconds, where we determine how we feel about the event, what we think about what happened, and what we want to do about it. Our first thoughts are usually not our best because they are made out of fear.
The anxiety in our world today is very high. We are operating from a place of distress and that makes it difficult to make good decisions. Stress and anxiety limit our ability to see all the possible solutions to a problem. With the heightened stress most of us are feeling, I think we all could choose to pause, slow down, and pick our words and actions carefully, because the way we react-or better yet, the way we respond-affects others.