What is the best Christmas gift you’ve ever been given? Mine didn’t come wrapped in shiny paper or tucked under the Christmas tree. It wasn’t from Santa, nor was it expensive or flashy. My favorite gift came from an unlikely place, born out of a messy accident and the heart of an extraordinary person.
It happened in December 2007. I was nearing the end of graduate school at Southern Methodist University. To graduate from the Dispute Resolution Program, each student had to complete two mediations. Most of these opportunities came through the Plano court system when their dockets were overwhelmed. One day, I was assigned my first mediation. I was nervous. Disputes often bring out the worst in people, and I wasn’t sure I could handle difficult behavior.
The case involved a bulldozer operator, the owner of the bulldozer, and the owner’s attorney. The bulldozer operator had accidentally damaged the machine, and the owner wanted him to pay for repairs. Though the operator admitted fault, he couldn’t afford to pay. The two men had spent months trying to resolve the matter, but trust and communication had broken down completely. When they finally turned to the courts, they were bitter, exhausted, and ready for a fight.
As the lead mediator, I was responsible for guiding the process. Sitting at the table with these men, I felt the tension and distrust between them. The power imbalance and the language barrier were glaring, and I wondered if I was equipped to bridge the gap. While reviewing my notes, I felt an unexpected nudge—a small voice inside me urging me to set aside the rigid process we’d been taught. It was Christmastime, after all, and this didn’t feel like a time for cold, formal negotiations. Taking a deep breath, I asked, “How has this dispute affected your lives over the last several months?”
The room shifted. Tears welled up in the bulldozer operator’s eyes as he explained that he had four children. If he made payments toward the repairs, his children wouldn’t have Christmas gifts that year. He felt trapped—ashamed for causing the damage but heartbroken at the thought of disappointing his kids. In that moment, something remarkable happened. The bulldozer owner softened. Instead of focusing on the cost of repairs, he asked the operator about his children—how old they were, what they enjoyed. They discovered they both had seven-year-old sons who loved soccer. They talked about the challenges of raising kids, the hardships of working in construction, and the stress they’d both carried these past months.
For ten minutes, I sat back and watched the walls between them crumble. The tension in the room gave way to connection, understanding, and, finally, grace. Against the advice of his attorney, the bulldozer owner made a stunning decision: he withdrew his claim.
But that wasn’t all. The two men stood, embraced each other, and exchanged holiday wishes in their own languages. In that hug, you could feel the weight of resentment and anger being lifted. The conflict that had hung over them for months melted away in the warmth of human compassion.
As I drove home that evening, my heart was full. I hadn’t just witnessed a resolution; I’d seen the true spirit of Christmas in action. The gift I received that day wasn’t just the end of a dispute—it was a powerful reminder of the grace we are all capable of showing when we see each other as human beings first.
The gift? In this season of giving, the greatest gifts aren’t material things but acts of kindness, forgiveness, and love. When we choose understanding over judgment, connection over polarization, and grace over grudges, we not only transform others—we transform ourselves.
Merry Christmas, and may your season be filled with the gifts that matter most.